THINGS I LIKE ABOUT DEIMOS

• He can fly a helicopter. That's hot.
• He doesn't take a lot of shit too seriously.
• His voice is hot.
• His combat skills.
• His sharp teeth, which make him cuter.
• Has the right amount of goofiness.
• High energy vibe and at the same time chill vibe.
• Good with guns, tech and vehicles n stuff.
• Still dumb, kinda.

USELESS HEADCANONS

• He's extroverted and has more friends than you.
• He's an ESTP if you believe in MBTI types.
• In the AAHW, he was a cybersecurity expert.
• He'll be diagnosed with lung cancer by the time he's 35.
• Or he'll get addicted to cocaine and fired from his job for it, leading him to start a drug business when he's 37. He will be a terrifying druglord.
• He likes dark chocolate.
• Good at insults; verbally abusive if he wanted to be.
• His favorite album is Bleach by Nirvana.
• Has or has had a crush on Daron Malakian.
• Has a great singing voice.
• Creative and a decent artist.
• When he's driving, he runs over cyclists for fun.

THINGS I WANT DEIMOS TO DO

• step on me
• fire an M61 Vulcan (not at me, at something else)
• put a gun to my head
• put a gun in my mouth
• talk about guns while I listen
• give me a weird nickname
• teach me Python
• explain the FNAF lore to me
• make me laugh
• call me a loser
• punch me in the face and give me a concussion I have to be hospitalized for, then say he didn't hit me that hard
• let me spoon him
• let me hold him bridal style
• sit on my lap
• casually drag me on a leash
• use me as a chair
• "Ugh, fine, I guess you are my little pogchamp. Come here."
• wear a maid dress like this one
• call me a degenerate
• go to the store with me at 1am
• play video games with me until 4am
• listen to System Of A Down with me
• beat me in a race (I cannot overstate how easy that would be for him) (he doesn't even have to run)
• be comfortable talking to me
• laugh at me and call me an idiot after I eat a cigarette
• pat my back as I throw it up
• multiply and become my harem (spamming the deimos clicker will show you what that might sound like)
• criticize me for projecting weird fantasies onto him
• do what he wants and be happy

Note: Only Deimos is allowed to do most of the things listed above.